Endorsement of the Week: Free WiFi @ Starbucks

Caffeine, the most widely used drug on the planet, has its hands around our necks.  This is why there are so many places to buy it.  Of course, you could make your own coffee, cheaper, at home.  However, the social implications of coffee are much wider than simply consuming the drink.  Drinking black instant coffee alone in the dark is for sleep deprived medicine and surgery residents on call.  So let's just assume you embrace the financial premium of "premium coffee." 

Enter Starbucks.  As I sit here, I stare around and see the same regulars I always see.  There is guy who talks to himself pretending to be on a cell phone.  There is the guy who talks to himself wearing orange noise reduction headset and brings a suitcase of papers and a thermos from WWII filled with god knows what.  Then there is old guy with a briefcase from 1960.  
    Then there is me, getting free wireless guy.
    It could be you too.

In case you are always the last to know, just like me, you can get ATT WiFi for free at almost any starbucks.

Instructions
1.Getting a gift card at starbucks for like 10 bucks
2. Use it to buy a grande non-fat iced coffee with milk
3. Register it at THIS LINK TO FREE WIFI. 

Free wifi is a scam designed to get library-phobic freeloading college students and other social miscreants to come to your establishment, buy something to drink, and make it look like you have a busy worthwhile business filled with customers.  It used to be that only kitchsy places like Muddy's (for anti-establishment types) and Roasterie (for established types) gave out free wifi, but the connection kind of sucked.  Of course, there has been wifi at Starbucks for sometime, but they charged for it!  Then they had to close 600 stores and realized they had to start working for clients again.  When I was in New York for three days, I saved $48 by not purchasing hotel internet access and opting to get my caffeine and email fix at the same place.  I realize that for the fat cats with iPhones, this service does not have the same value but I didn't really know what else to endorse this week. 

Life Imitating Film: Case Study of "He's Just Not That Into You"

So this Valentine's day weekend I went to see the recently released, "He's Just Not That Into You," based on the book by that funny looking guy with the blond hair that had a really shitty daytime talk show named Greg. I was hoping that I would enjoy seeing these women embarrass themselves in the fictional world of late 20s single-dom. Aside this movie is truly something novel to me (in Kansas City there is no such thing as being over 22 and single, everyone has to get married by law I think, because I don't know any singles older than I am.) Anyways, it seemed implausible that women could be as lame as the main character in the movie. There are truly embarrassing moments during which I pulled my fleece over my head to hide. If you've seen it you know what I mean. And then, I met someone who struck me like she could be that awkward.

Yesterday I went to Starbucks for a "medium coffee," my usual, and decided to chat with the barista while my receipt was printing. They recently extended their hours from 10 to midnight, which, in this era of Starbucks closures, state employee furloughs, and business hour cutbucks, struck me as odd. So I asked...

"How are the new late hours going?"
"Oh great, I close, so I get to clean the parking lot...and more hours for me."
"I see, I guess, are people coming in that late, they just closed another store less than a mile from here."
"Oh yeah, we're a high traffic store I guess. I'm sorry we have to brew a new batch so your coffee will be a while."

I found a table, opened my laptop, made a snazzy playlist that included TI + JT's Dead and Gone. Open a book and then I'm startled.

"Oh my God I am so SORRY!"
"Why?"
"Your coffee took so long!"
"I kinda expected it since you told me you had to brew a new batch."
"Yeah but that was like really long, what's your name, my name is *bleep*, do you want a pastry, I can give you a card to get something free next time, would you like something else, how about if you come in again anytime I can give you something free."
"It's ok, thank you for bringing the coffee to my table though."

She was totally flustered. Very nice but, truly, she came off very crazy. Imagine if this had been us out at a club. Cute girl, but she was embarrassing me. just like the movie.