If You Want A Guy To Come To Your Place, You Gotta Have Stuff To Eat

Jr. High Principal:  Would you like a smoothie?
Kenny Powers: No, I'm Straight.
             
                        -From HBO's Eastbound and Down

In a continued effort to use reader feedback for quality and direction I bring you, The Guide On How to Stock Your Fridge If You Want A Guy To Come Over To Your Place.  Guys are not dogs, they do not need treats, they need fuel, this is in the form of hearty food. 

Think about it, guys aren't going to come over to eat yogurt. 

1.  Eggs
I read a while back that animal's rights groups were pleading with people to not buy large or extra-large eggs because it is painful for the chickens to lay.  I try not to think of that when I'm frying up an egg.  This is not just breakfast food either, I could pretty much eat a fried egg whenever, and you best have some ready.

Brownie points, if you want to make me an omelette, use Egg-Beaters for Heart's sake.

2.  Beer
 This one is obvious, but it's important not to oversimplify.  An assortment of beers is useful because sometimes you could handle just a budlight if its hot outside and you just got done running or something.  You just need to rehydrate.  Other times, like when eating a salad, you want something like Bud Select or Michelob Ultra that is equally watery.

Brownie points, if you bust out a Blue Moon with an orange wedge.

3.  Cold Cut Roast Beef

Meat usually means steak.  But you'll be a mack if I open your crisper and there is a bag of sliced roast beef that I could take a quick piece out for a protein boost.

Brownie points,  if there is sliced cheese for sandwiches.

4.  Hot Sauce
Unless they are UFC fighters, men need to suffer pain at least little each day to promote adequate testosterone production.  I suggest Siracha, a.k.a  Rooster Sauce, (the red stuff with the green tip), as well as something with red pepper from Louisiana.  Doesn't have to be Tobasco.  This item can be used concurrently with items 1,2, and 3.


5.  Frozen Chicken Nuggets
Any child born after 1980 for certain, save for vegetarians, consumed a considerable amount of chicken McNuggets growing up.  I know I did.  You really don't want his mother to show you up on this one. 

Brownie points,  if you have multiple dipping sauce options. 

6.  BBQ Sauce
I discussed Sweet Baby Ray's in a previous post.  That is great, but you are going to need a regular, a sweet, and a spicy sauce and a vinegar based sauce to satisfy this requirement.  Also, you are going to need more than ketchup for the chicken nuggets.  

7.  Unexpired Milk
I know a lot of girls who don't like milk or are on non-dairy diets or don't eat breakfast.  You gotta have milk.  Not to mince words, but you cannot keep expired milk.  There are few things more disappointing on earth than to pour out a bowl of cereal and discover there is no milk, or worse, curdled milk.  I have seen too many relationships die this way. 

Brownie points, if you have chocolate milk.

8.  Canned Beans
 I thought this one would be self-explanatory but, ladies seem to despise beans.  They are packed with protein and fiber and make the perfect side for virtually any meat. Goes well with number 9.

9.  Hot Dogs
Few moments are as significant as a young man's first trip to the ballpark.  No baseball game is complete without a hotdog, or, if like me, you are from Los Angeles, a "DodgerDog."  Baseball and hotdogs go together like PB&J and since baseball is the American passtime, you better keep them stocked unless you are a terrorist.

Brownie points, all-beef, kosher, and sauerkraut.

10.  Bread  Bread is for chicks, Hummus
Not too many guys think to buy this stuff, but, it is really tasty and probably healthier than the usual dip.