Celebrities Are People Too Thus They Can Be DUMB!

So Chris Brown and Rhianna are apparently together. I'm watching Showbiz Tonight on Headline News and they are listening to viewer voicemails. My favorite message is one from a woman who thinks that Chris Brown should be given a second chance because he is young. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. That's like saying that Michael Jackson should be allowed to have play dates with the kids that accused him of child molestation. They are both adults and I suppose if Rhianna wants to get back with Chris Brown that's fine, she is free to make her own mistakes. Maybe this alleged abuse never occurred.

My take, best case scenario this is mostly a publicity stunt.
More likely, if something went down, Rhianna wants to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. This is so classic, an Ipod Touch and diamond bracelet for her birthday the week after the alleged abuse. An abuser would do that. Now they can get along great for a while, until Nick Cannon starts sending mysterious text messages, the tension builds, and Rhianna gets a Timbaland Boot to her grill. Domestic violence is bullshit, any broad that gets beat by her knucklehead partner ought not take him back. Easier said than done, but, its mental sickness that causes this. I know Rhianna isn't trapped at home or financially isolated, with kids at home, scared that they will all die if she leaves him. Taking an abuser back when you are a celebrity sends a clear message: "It's cool to beat women." I don't want my baby sister listening to, watching, or looking up to anyone who does that crap.

CB still has his day in court to come. Hopefully he doesn't go OJ style. But if the allegations are true this is just another example of how dumb America has become. I'm moving to New Zealand.

Don't forget to sign your petitions against a made-over teenage version of Dora the Explorer, just kidding, worry about something really important like Daylight Savings Time and the sleep you are going to lose.

Finally, Some Real Justice

This is the best story I have read in a long time, right here. This is the story of a dirty bastard who got exactly what he deserved. The man who was on trial for allegedly stabbing his girlfriend to death, decided, perhaps, with deliberate intent given the predictable outcome, to attack the judge at his trial. The judge, also a lady, I'm sensing a C. Brownish pattern of violence against women here. The scumbag was on the stand when his mother became upset and left the courtroom. In response, the judge dismissed the jury to recess at which point the scumbag, a.k.a David Paradiso, jumped behind her and starting punching her. This is the best part...

...then, the courtroom security officers pulled out their handguns and shot the bastard three times, killing him, in a glorious and heroic exercise of justice.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!














This will save the state of California $34,000 per year for each year that he would have been in prison. With this recession and the California budget shortfall, that's perhaps 20-30 starting teacher's salaries that can now be paid rather than wasted on this dung beetle.

This Person Should Be Excluded From The Stimulus Money

"This is an emergency, if I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one, this is an emergency!"







This person was arrested for misusing 911. This is a serious crime. Operators for 911 should be spending their time moderating actual emergencies but, sadly, the majority of 911 calls are for non-emergent matters. I saw on TV the story of one woman who called 911 so that the firefighters would take out her trash. These stories sound isolated, but our 911 system is overburdened with this crap. People complain we need new improved 911 servies or we need more money. No, we don't. What we need, is to cut the bullshit. If this woman and every person who abused 911 was executed in public. The number of frivalous calls would drop and the system would begin to work in a timely way again. Your cat will get out of the tree on its own.

What really grinds my gears about this is that, this person who called over a dispute at McDonalds is a liability to society and has a negative value. We stand only to lose by having her alive. The fact that she is arrested over this means more money down the drain. If an actual emergency happened such as a drive by shooting at her place, we all would have been better off.
Think about that the next time you vote to increase your tax liability to support her and the mess she creates.

With Great Mustache Comes Great Responsibility

One of my recent posts discussed my intention to maintain continuous facial hair growth until the day of the residency match on 3/19/09. This was to the dismay and chagrin of everyone in my life. Except my roommate. He loved it, I think because it made him feel better about himself. The longest he has ever went without shaving, and only because he was camping or some shit, was three days. When people who allegedly love you start throwing out words like "terrible," "horrible," and "disgusting" in reference to your face, its time to push a little bit harder and then stop. Mostly I was only doing this to agitate and shock my friends. For the first time in months I felt like I was accomplishing something every time I looked in the mirror and saw my beard. This has been the longest and most concerted effort on my part to grow facial hair. Its just so darn itchy that I never make it past 5 days. This time I made it...

...to 10 days, then tonight, I converted the goatee to a mustache.

I thought I looked like Marc Spitz. Roommate said I looked like Luigi with a pornstache.Another friend says Super Mario and she refused to look at me citing, "I don't like Tom Selleck." Later she modified that to say I looked like Ned Flanders. Okily dokily. I pictured text'd my 16 year-old brother a picture of the stache, he replied "Plz sir dont rape me."

It looked bad. I thought it was like bad that means good, like in the 90s. Everyone else thought it was bad like Chris Brown beating the crap out of Rhianna. I waited for the those girls with facial hair fetishes to declare themselves but, that didn't happen. I thought it made me look more intimidating and would command more respect but, I was assured that was not true either. Amazingly, on adult swim tonight, they played an episode of Family Guy where Peter grows a mustache and develops a strong sense of confidence and a deep loyalty to the mustache wearing community.

So before crawling into bed, I shaved the stache. But first I left the middle part over my philtrum a la Hitler and sent that picture to my Jewish roommate. Then I drug the razor over the last of it.

It is finished.

Pictures to follow.
Maybe I'll try again next week.