With Great Mustache Comes Great Responsibility

One of my recent posts discussed my intention to maintain continuous facial hair growth until the day of the residency match on 3/19/09. This was to the dismay and chagrin of everyone in my life. Except my roommate. He loved it, I think because it made him feel better about himself. The longest he has ever went without shaving, and only because he was camping or some shit, was three days. When people who allegedly love you start throwing out words like "terrible," "horrible," and "disgusting" in reference to your face, its time to push a little bit harder and then stop. Mostly I was only doing this to agitate and shock my friends. For the first time in months I felt like I was accomplishing something every time I looked in the mirror and saw my beard. This has been the longest and most concerted effort on my part to grow facial hair. Its just so darn itchy that I never make it past 5 days. This time I made it...

...to 10 days, then tonight, I converted the goatee to a mustache.

I thought I looked like Marc Spitz. Roommate said I looked like Luigi with a pornstache.Another friend says Super Mario and she refused to look at me citing, "I don't like Tom Selleck." Later she modified that to say I looked like Ned Flanders. Okily dokily. I pictured text'd my 16 year-old brother a picture of the stache, he replied "Plz sir dont rape me."

It looked bad. I thought it was like bad that means good, like in the 90s. Everyone else thought it was bad like Chris Brown beating the crap out of Rhianna. I waited for the those girls with facial hair fetishes to declare themselves but, that didn't happen. I thought it made me look more intimidating and would command more respect but, I was assured that was not true either. Amazingly, on adult swim tonight, they played an episode of Family Guy where Peter grows a mustache and develops a strong sense of confidence and a deep loyalty to the mustache wearing community.

So before crawling into bed, I shaved the stache. But first I left the middle part over my philtrum a la Hitler and sent that picture to my Jewish roommate. Then I drug the razor over the last of it.

It is finished.

Pictures to follow.
Maybe I'll try again next week.