This is what they teach in KC public schools? No wonder they are failing: a.k.a. What I Won't Miss About Kansas City

1.  If sitting at an intersection punch it off the line making an ambulance going lights and sirens stop just to avoid you.  I almost guarantee you that you have more important places to be. 
2.  Run into crowded traffic with a smile on your face. Also, if j-walking, walk slower when cars are waiting unnecessarily for you to increase carbon emissions.
3.  Be the third or fourth car to run a red arrow at the intersection of 47th and Main.  I hope you also stop on train tracks.
4.  Let everyone at Power and Light see you be escorted out in cuffs by the cops while you are wearing a trucker hat, aviator sunglasses, distressed jeans, and an Ed Hardy Tshirt at 11pm. You could be on TV, specifically,  Tool Academy Season 2.
5.  Ask people for a down payment on a cheeseburger. You don't need to lose weight.
6.  Tell people who don't wear exposed undershirts while wearing a collared shirt and blazer they are underdressed. 
7.  Sync >25% of your iPod with songs sung by former American Idol contestants. 
8.  Ride your bike or motorcycle, without a helmet.  Actually, as of Wednesday, there are 101,972 people on a waiting list for your organs.
9.  Stand up for your principles, Chipotle is the best Mexican restaurant, don't let the damn liberals take it away from you.   
10.  Smoke inside bars, it smells better that way. 


That's all for now, there are other things that people don't control.  Like how all the streets in KC, MO are too narrow for left turn lanes.  Or how the athletes here like to spit in people's faces at bars, but, I'm guessing those people probably legitimately deserved it.  At least I'd rather get spat on then ran over like they do in Miami. 

P.S. Your Jayhawk looks like Woody Woodpecker anyways.  Thanks to Amy for pointing that out.